How to Support a Loved One Struggling with Anxiety
When someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, it can be hard to know what to do.
You want to help, to say the right thing, to make it better - but sometimes, despite your best intentions, your support might miss the mark.
If you’ve ever felt helpless, frustrated, or unsure of what to say, you’re not alone.
Anxiety is complex. And supporting someone through it requires compassion, patience, and a little understanding of how the brain works under stress.
What Does Anxiety Actually Feel Like?
Anxiety isn’t just “worrying too much.”
It’s a full-body experience. It can feel like racing thoughts, shortness of breath, tightness in the chest, an inability to think clearly, or a sense of dread that won’t go away - even when everything looks fine on the outside.
In that moment, the primitive brain takes over.
It’s scanning for threats, imagining worst-case scenarios, and flooding the body with stress hormones - all in an attempt to protect.
The trouble is, it can’t tell the difference between a real danger and a perceived one.
And logical reassurance - “You’ve got nothing to worry about” - often can’t reach someone who’s stuck in survival mode.
5 Things You Should Never Say to Someone with Anxiety
What Not to SayWhen someone is anxious, these common phrases, although well-meaning, often do more harm than good:
“Just calm down”
“There’s nothing to worry about”
“You’re overreacting”
“Other people have it worse”
“You’re being silly”
Why don’t they help?
Because anxiety isn’t a choice. It’s a nervous system response.
And these phrases can leave the person feeling misunderstood, judged, or ashamed.
How to Actually Help Someone with Anxiety: 4 Proven Strategies
If you want to support someone with anxiety, your job isn’t to fix them — it’s to help them feel safe, seen, and supported.
Here’s how you can do that:
1. Listen without trying to fix
Let them talk, if they want to. Don’t rush to offer solutions. Just listen.
Sometimes, the most healing thing is simply to feel heard.
2. Validate their experience
Say things like:
“That sounds really hard.”
“I can see how much this is affecting you.”
“You’re not alone in this.”
Validation doesn’t mean you agree with the fear - it means you recognise the feeling as real.
3. Ask what they need
Try:
“Would it help to talk?”
“Would you like me to just sit with you for a bit?”
“Is there something I can do that would make this feel a little easier right now?”
4. Stay calm and grounded yourself
Your nervous system can help regulate theirs.
If you’re calm, patient, and present, it sends a signal of safety - even if you’re not saying much.
Setting Boundaries While Supporting Someone with Anxiety
Supporting someone with anxiety can be emotionally taxing, especially if you don’t know how to set healthy boundaries.
Remember:
You are not responsible for fixing their feelings
You are allowed to take breaks and care for your own wellbeing
You can support with love, while still protecting your own energy
Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is gently suggest they seek professional support — from someone trained to help calm the anxious brain and rebuild inner safety.
When to Suggest Professional Help for Anxiety
Consider gently suggesting professional support if:
Anxiety is affecting their daily life, work, or relationships
They're avoiding situations or activities they used to enjoy
Sleep, appetite, or physical health is being impacted
They've mentioned feeling hopeless or overwhelmed
Home support alone isn't creating lasting relief
Professional help isn't a sign of failure, it's a sign of taking their wellbeing seriously.
ow Hypnotherapy Helps Someone with Anxiety
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy helps reduce anxiety by working with the brain, not against it.
It helps calm the stress response, encourages the formation of more helpful patterns, and gently rewires the brain for safety, confidence, and calm.
Sessions focus on what’s going well, what the client wants instead, and how to get there - without needing to relive past pain or get stuck in overanalysis.
When someone feels supported both personally and professionally, it can create the safety needed to start healing.
You’re Doing Better Than You Think
If you’re supporting someone with anxiety, you’re already showing up in a big way.
It’s not easy. It’s not always neat. But your presence matters.
Just by learning more, listening without judgement, and reminding them they’re not broken - you’re helping more than you realise.
And if you’re feeling the weight of worry - whether it’s your own or someone else’s, know that support is available for you, too.
At Trancespire, I work with individuals and families navigating anxiety, helping to bring clarity, calm, and a sense of ease back into everyday life.
📍 Based in Llangorse, near Brecon, Hay-On-Wye, and Crickhowell, Wales -also available online UK-wide.
👉 Book a free consultation
👉 Learn more about how hypnotherapy supports anxiety recovery
