Living Authentically: How to Stop Seeking Approval and Be Yourself
Have you ever caught yourself saying “yes” when every part of you wanted to say “no”?
Or changed your opinion just to avoid conflict?
Maybe you’ve held back from sharing your real thoughts because you worried how others might see you.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us are taught - subtly or directly - that being liked is more important than being real. Over time, we learn to edit ourselves, shrink our edges, and play roles we think will win acceptance.
But living like this is exhausting. And it slowly erodes the sense of who we are.
Here’s the truth: authenticity isn’t about being perfect or always speaking your mind without filter. It’s about feeling safe enough to be yourself—your whole self - in your own life.
What It Means to Be Authentic
Authenticity is not about being loud, rebellious, or different just for the sake of it. It’s about:
Knowing your values, and honouring them in the choices you make
Saying what you mean, with kindness and clarity
Making decisions based on what feels right for you, not just what pleases others
Accepting that not everyone will approve, and being okay with that
It grows when you learn to trust your feelings and instincts, even if they don’t match other people’s expectations.
Why We Lose Touch with Ourselves
Over time, the need for approval can quietly shape our lives. It can come from:
Childhood patterns of praise and criticism
Workplace cultures that reward conformity
Social media pressures to present a “perfect” image
Fear of rejection or conflict
Little by little, we start wearing masks. And while they might keep the peace on the outside, they can leave us feeling disconnected and unseen on the inside.
Gentle, Lasting Change
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy doesn’t ask you to relive the past. Instead, it helps you build a clearer picture of the future you want, and gently shift your focus toward it.
Through guided relaxation, your mind can begin to:
Notice moments when you are being yourself
Strengthen self-trust and inner confidence
Reduce the need for external validation
See new choices and possibilities
You don’t have to change who you are to be authentic. You just need to reconnect with the parts of you that have always been there.
How Hypnotherapy Supports Authenticity
In the calm, focused state we call trance, your mind becomes more open to new perspectives. You’re always in control, it’s not sleep, and it’s not mind control. It’s simply a natural state of focus and ease, similar to getting lost in thought or daydreaming.
From here, it becomes easier to:
Let go of unhelpful thought patterns
Respond with clarity rather than fear
Make decisions based on what truly matters to you
Clients often describe feeling:
More comfortable saying what they really think
Less need to explain or justify themselves
More relaxed in their own skin
A renewed sense of direction
The Brain and Authenticity
When we feel safe and supported, we access the intelligent, logical part of the brain designed for problem-solving, connection, and creativity.
Seeking acceptance is actually a primal instinct. In our evolutionary past, being accepted by the tribe could mean the difference between life and death. Feeling rejected or excluded would have posed a real survival threat, so our brains are wired to notice judgment and seek approval.
When we feel judged or under pressure, our brain shifts into survival mode, driven by fear and the need to “fit in” for safety.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy helps settle that survival mode, allowing the authentic, confident self to take the lead again.
You Deserve to Be Yourself
If you’ve been:
Tired of pretending or people-pleasing
Feeling disconnected from who you really are
Wanting to express yourself without fear
There is a gentler way forward.
With the right support, you can learn to trust your own voice and choices again—living in a way that feels honest and fulfilling.
Ready to Begin?
Whether you are based near Llangorse, Brecon, or joining sessions online from anywhere in the UK, I’d love to support you.
You can start by booking a free consultation, or read more about how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy works and how it can help you feel more grounded, clear, and yourself.
You are not “too much.” You are not “not enough.”
You are already whole - this is simply about allowing yourself to live that truth.
📍 Based in Llangorse, near Brecon, Hay-On-Wye, and Crickhowell, Wales — also available online UK-wide.
👉 Book a free consultation
👉 Or read more on how I can help with authenticity and self-trust
