Perfectionism: Letting Go of the Pressure to Get It All Right

Some days, it can feel like you’re trying so hard, and still falling short.
Even when you’re getting things done, ticking off the list, keeping it all going… something still doesn’t feel right.

You might not call it perfectionism.
But maybe you feel constantly under pressure.
Like you're always chasing that moment when everything’s finally “done”
or that quiet feeling of “enough” and it never seems to arrive.

If that’s sounding familiar, please know: you’re not failing. You’re not too much or not enough. You’re human.

What Perfectionism Can Quietly Look Like

Perfectionism isn’t always loud.
It can look like being the one who “has it all together” - even when you're running on empty.
It can feel like pressure to overthink, overachieve, over-give, just to avoid feeling like you’ve let someone down.

It can sound like:

• “It’s not good enough yet.”

• “I should be doing more.”

• “If I don’t try my hardest, I might fail.”

Sometimes it’s not about doing well; it’s about trying not to fail.
And that’s exhausting.

Your Brain Isn’t Broken — It’s Trying to Protect You

Perfectionism often comes from a good place: a deep desire to feel safe, valued, or accepted.
It’s the brain’s way of managing fear and uncertainty.

When we feel stressed or overloaded, the primitive part of the brain takes the lead… scanning for what could go wrong, bracing for criticism, striving to stay in control.
Cortisol rises. Thoughts race. Sleep can suffer. Muscles stay tense.

It’s not weakness. It’s a survival strategy.

But it’s also a cycle that can be softened, with support, rest, and small shifts in thinking.

When Perfectionism Fills the Stress Bucket

At Trancespire, I often talk about the “stress bucket.”
Each worry, pressure, or internal ‘should’ adds another drop.

Eventually, the bucket overflows, and that’s when we feel stuck, overwhelmed, snappy, or numb.

Perfectionism is like a leaky tap that never turns off.
And no one can thrive when their stress bucket is full.

The good news? You can turn the tap down. You can learn to empty the bucket; gently, gradually, and with kindness.

Done Is Better Than Perfect

One of the biggest shifts in healing from perfectionism is allowing yourself to finish something, even if it’s not flawless.

Because “done” is progress. “Done” is power. “Done” is freeing.

It teaches your brain: I can try something, complete it, and still be safe, even if it’s not perfect.

That’s where confidence grows.
Not from never making mistakes; but from seeing that you can keep going anyway.

The Beauty of Imperfection

We often forget: it’s the handmade pottery with wonky edges that we treasure most, not the mass-produced factory ones.
The quirks. The warmth. The evidence of care.

And it’s the same with people.

We don’t fall in love with each other’s perfect LinkedIn bios.
We fall in love with the laugh lines, the awkward pauses, the gentle honesty of being human.

Perfection might impress people. But imperfection connects us.

And when we hide behind perfect, we can accidentally create distance.
Others might feel intimidated, or unsure if they can be themselves around us.

Letting go of perfection isn't about lowering your standards, it’s about softening the walls.
Letting people see you. The real, tender, honest version; because that’s the one people truly respond to.

How Solution Focused Hypnotherapy Can Help

Solution Focused Hypnotherapy offers a gentle, supportive space to breathe again.

Rather than digging into everything that’s gone wrong, we focus on what’s going well, and how you can build more of that.

Through positive conversation and guided relaxation, we help:

• Lower stress and reduce cortisol

• Reconnect with your calm, capable self

• Shift from survival mode to possibility

• Create space for rest, joy, and authentic confidence

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to wait for permission.

You’re Allowed to Let Go of Perfect

You’re allowed to leave a task “good enough.”
You’re allowed to show up a little messy and still be deeply worthy.
You’re allowed to rest, laugh, stumble, and still be lovable.

You are not a machine.
You are not here to be flawless.
You are here to be whole.

And if perfectionism has been holding you back, I’d love to help you move forward, gently and in your own time.

Let’s trade perfection for progress.
Let’s make space for you to just be you.

📍 Based in Llangorse, Brecon, Powys, Wales — also available online UK-wide.
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